You can track your sleep. Regulate your nervous system. Ice bath every morning.. Force the positive thoughts. Listen to the podcasts. Do all the breathwork. But…
If you don’t love the very young version of you.. or give grace to the version of you who didn’t cope well with life.. who was carrying too much and not dealing with it well…who was stressed and dishevelled and burnout.. who was in the thick of family things and grief and kids and disappointments… who is stumbling through perimenopause or divorce or identity loss.. as well as the version of you who is finding herself again.. then you will never be able to love yourself. And you’ll never feel like you’re on top of things, even at your most resilient.
True resilience cannot be built on a foundation of self-rejection. How you speak to yourself – and how you treat yourself – matters more than anything else.
Resilience – your capacity to dance with life, your window of tolerance, your ability to bounce back, whatever you want to call it – starts with how much you love you. No mental or physical strength matters more than that.
True resilience really does come down to self love. That doesn’t fit a lot of the wellness narratives. Because self love is hard. Especially in a world that teaches us we must continually be correcting our ‘flaws.’
Most of us find it easier to commit to a punishing list of ‘resilience’ tasks than to stop and face ourselves.
But the amount of flexibility you have to cope with life – and to thrive – comes from how resourced you are.
And every single resource you might want to use – confidence, audacity, persistence, discipline, motivation – depends on self love to exist. You can fake them for a while but you can’t sustain any of these things for long if underneath it all you don’t believe you deserve what you are reaching for.
If you are rejecting parts of yourself you don’t think are acceptable. If your energy is going into shame or pretending instead of handling your business, expanding and creating.
It is life changing to accept and love yourself even when you feel like you don’t deserve it. Especially when you feel like you don’t deserve it.
If you want to live fully, be there for the people you love and stop feeling like a shadow in your own life, it has to come first.
Give yourself some grace today. Love yourself even when you don’t feel like you’ve done anything to deserve it. Notice how different it makes you feel.
Ready for true resilience that supports your thriving as well as the surviving? Book a free intro call and let’s chat.
