- Earning 6 figures
- Becoming a published author
- PBs in the gym
- Being in a long-term relationship
- Losing weight and looking great
- Buying a property
The one thing that did change my confidence + happiness
Speaking to myself kindly instead of critically.
I know, boring right.
But things like money or PBs happen externally and infrequently. Your inner voice is there 24/7 and has a HUGE impact on how you feel. Imagine standing next to someone constantly criticising you, comparing you to others and pointing out your flaws.
How would that person make you feel? Because that’s what you’re doing to yourself every day that you choose self-criticism over self-kindness.
You’re also depriving yourself of the opportunity to be a more effective, productive and energetic human. To change your confidence from the inside out. Because self-criticism exhausts us, tangles us up in fear and shame instead of focus and clarity and makes it impossible for us to assimilate the lessons of our failures.
Confidence comes from self-compassion
If you’re self-critical you’ll also fail to enjoy any of your achievements (because your inner voice says pride comes before a fall etc). Which can make life feel really empty.
So, maybe instead of focusing only on those life goals that revolve around fitness or money or relationship status, it’s time to divert some energy and resources to what’s going on inside your head.
Get off the Hedonic Treadmill (this is the theory that we all have a baseline of happiness we return to after good or bad things happen that we need to intentionally work to change).
Because your baseline level of happiness isn’t going to be permanently moved by anything you can buy, consume or lift. But changing your inner narrative is one way to step off the treadmill for good.
What’s your baseline of confidence and happiness?
Humans have a tendency to return to the same base level of happiness (google hedonic adaptation) even after something really good or bad has happened. And that base level of happiness is largely determined by your inner voice and how you speak to yourself.
If it’s unkind, unhelpful and constantly triggering anxiety etc because it’s fearful and mean then your base level of happiness is likely to be low. If it’s kind, nurturing, forgiving and proactive, not only will you feel happier but you’ll be able to function more clearly too, as you won’t get stuck in the heavy, paralysing emotions of guilt, fear etc.
Not only that but a kind inner voice creates self-trust – which is the foundation of confidence. In fact, there is no self-trust without it.
Want to know how the way I manage to change my confidence can help you too? Book a free intro call and let’s chat.
