Assertiveness, communication and having difficult conversations are all part of becoming more resilient. These things aren’t personality traits, they are just learned habits. You can learn to be assertive, communicate well and handle conflict better no matter how sensitive, shy, anxious, angry or afraid you might be.
The biggest tool you have here is words. And my best tip is this: use words to give yourself time to pause, to think, to calm your nervous system, to gather your thoughts, to take control of the conversation and to stop old behaviour patterns taking over.
Useful phrases for difficult conversations
Here are some very simple phrases you can use to create the space you might need to refocus, recentre and start doing things differently in difficult conversations.
“Let me reflect on that and get back to you.”
“Can we explore other options together?”
“I’m not ready to decide yet.”
“What am I missing here?”
“I see this differently but I’m curious about your view.”
“I appreciate you highlighting this.”
“What would a good outcome look like for you?”
“Help me understand your perspective.”
“I need a minute to think this through.”
“That’s interesting, can you tell me more.”
“Let’s pause and come back to this.”
Want more simple tools and tips like this – or a session on assertiveness? – book a 90 min Intensive or let’s have an intro call and chat about how resilience coaching could make a difference to how you manage conflict in your life.
