Of all the things we do on repeat, catastrophising is one of the most destructive. This is the habit of being in a situation where there is uncertainty about what happens next – and focusing on worst case scenarios. It’s a bad habit because we are essentially constantly scaring ourselves with something that hasn’t even happened. Torturing yourself with negative fiction.
What does catastrophising do to us?
Physically, every time you engage in catastrophising your nervous system is moving into a state of fight/flight/freeze. Which means the blood drains from certain parts of the brain and moves into other areas of the body. For example, blood leaves the areas of the brain we use for getting perspective on a situation and thinking logically – and rushes to arms and legs so you can fight, flight or freeze. As a result, every time you catastrophise you’ll make it harder to think clearly, to be calm and to problem solve.
Mentally, catastrophising creates that cloudy thinking. And it generates anxiety – anxious narratives and thoughts that can then trigger shame, sadness, grief etc. In short, it takes up a lot of mental capacity. You’re using your brain to do something unhelpful and ineffective. You’re not problem solving or processing. You’re imagining negative scenarios that don’t exist.
Why do we catastrophise?
Usually, it comes from being around someone else who did this as a child. If you had a parent who catastrophised whenever there was a challenging situation then you’ll do the same. And it will feel familiar, so it will feel easier than not doing it. And maybe you might tell yourself it’s necessary, like you’re bargaining for things to turn out well by doing it. Or you’re so used to doing it that you fear what will happen if you don’t.
How to stop catastrophising
Accept uncertainty. Life is uncertain. No one knows what will happen tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, how many times something repeated or how convinced you are of your instincts, you just don’t know. This is a frightening thought. And so, instead of finding ways to accept uncertainty – which is kind of an empty space – many of us choose things that feel more comfortable and familiar. Like negative thinking about the future. Because even though catastrophising can feel unpleasant, it’s more comfortable to many of us than the discomfort of accepting an uncertain future. So, working on accepting uncertainty is the first step for catastrophisers.
Make sure you’re getting the full picture
The best tool for catastrophising is looking at the thoughts you have when you’re catastrophising, write them all down. No doubt they are all along the lines of “what if [negative outcome] happens. At this point ANYTHING could happen, positive or negative. So if you’re only focused on the negative you’re not being realistic. (yes I know your mind tells you that the negative is the realistic pov but it’s not is it, it’s one sided). The REAL realistic view of any situation is all of your negative predictions PLUS a whole load of positive predictions. AND all the things you haven’t thought of yet. Because at this point anything could happen – good, bad, and anywhere in between. If you force yourself to identify the positives that could happen then you’ll show yourself that the catastrophising narratives are not accurate.
Catastrophising is a habit that you can stop. As always, it’s about looking at the reasons you do it – that’s the starting point. Then, there are a variety of tools you can use (like the one suggested) to stop the habit and swap it for something new.
None of this is rocket science. Anyone can do it – including you. Ready to start? Book a free intro call.
