I talk a lot with people about burnout. And I feel like we need to make a distinction between burnout and burnout when you’re a mid-life woman. Burnout is a different experience for everyone because we’re all different. But there are a number of specific factors that make burnout more likely (if you don’t take steps to avoid it) and more painful (if you’re not aware of them) for mid-life women.
Hormones + physical symptoms
I mean let’s start with the obvious ones. Hormones are hormone-ing in mid-life. We still don’t have enough accurate information about what is happening to women as we enter perimenopause. But we do know that hormones affect:
- Mood
- Sleep
- Brain function
- Energy levels
- Skin health
- Metabolism and weight gain
- Pain levels
- Focus and brain power
- Libido
So, everything then. So, if you feel frazzled in perimenopause or menopause that’s because all the things on that list are being overturned by the balance of hormones in your body changing from what you’re used to.
Life
Mid life tends to be when women are dealing with the most. We still live in a society where women bear the bulk of the emotional and physical labour when it comes to having children. Maybe you’re also working and trying to balance the demands and the guilt that come with that. Perhaps your relationship is being affected by life stress, life changes or you starting to see life differently. If you aren’t in a relationship and don’t have children you don’t get to escape either. This is the age when women can feel incredibly isolated if everyone they know has had a family. It can be when we start to feel isolated in the workplace. We may be dealing with mental or physical health issues. Caring for parents or others. And if you’re single and child free you’re paying the ‘single tax,’ covering all the expenses that are shared by couples on your own.
Identity shifts
A lot of women hit mid life and experience a sudden, huge loss of identity. Maybe you’ve done marriage and babies but you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the process. Maybe you never knew who you were. Mid life is when a lack of clarity over yourself becomes obvious and painful. There is little to hide it now. And you suddenly realise how it’s affecting you to not have an authentic sense of self that is separate from what you do and the roles you play, such as sister, daughter, mother, wife, job title. This loss of identity can be hugely unsettling and trigger low feelings and powerlessness.
Insulin resistance
This is a new one to me but mid life women often start to experience insulin resistance because of hormonal changes. The result? Weight gain. A body that you don’t feel is yours anymore. Shame around how you look. A loss of your sense of style and enjoying fashion. Feeling like you no longer know what to eat because your body isn’t functioning the way that it used to. Losing connection to your sensual self. Disconnecting from pleasure.
Grief
My dad died as I was entering perimenopause and the grief was like an earthquake. No one talks about death until we have to. We aren’t prepared for grief. Mid life is when we are most likely to start experiencing it, whether it’s parents, a partner, friends etc. Grief is not a regular emotion (I’m not sure it’s even an emotion to be honest) and this can be the push that many of us didn’t need along the burnout path.
Neurodiversity
Trying to cope with the interplay of hormones and life – plus neurodiversity – can just become too heavy in mid life. We still know very little about how autism. ADHD and AuHD affect mid-life women. But we do know that this is a time of life when the challenges of neurodiversity can feel too much.
Women burn out more
The Burnout Report 2025 found a third of adults have experienced burnout in the past year. The stats also showed that gender has a big impact on the likelihood of burnout. Women (94%) were more likely than men (89%) to experience high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the past year. Maybe because of the factors above – or maybe due to a whole other set of influences.
What we do know is that women in mid life are coping with huge shifts and pressures that society has yet to fully reocgnise or support. And for most of us that means taking steps to get help ourselves.
I have worked with hundreds of mid-life women, not just on avoiding burnout but on developing a powerful mindset for this time of life. Resilience coaching can help you find new ways to cope and to survive the challenges of this time. But also to tap into all the exciting shifts that come with perimenopause and menopause. To trigger the ‘spring forward’ and start intentionally creating the life you want from now on. Book an intro call with me to find out more.
