My resilience model is this:
Mindset + habits
Emotional regulation
Unwinding the impact of your past
Authenticity – knowing who you are and what you want.
And…
Nervous system flexibility.
And that last one often comes as a bit of a surprise to people who have come to me for help with what’s in their head, rather than in their bodies.
Your nervous system is everything
The reality of life as a human being is that there is no separation between your body (the nervous system) and your mind. And, whether you realise it or not, your nervous system is constantly determining how much brain power you have. And having a huge influence on things like motivation and procrastination.
Why? Because fight/flight/freeze is a survival response. It will happen if someone is chasing you (in which case it’s a helpful response) but it can also happen because you’ve just opened a difficult email (in which case it’s not a helpful response).
It’s not helpful because a body in survival mode pumps blood to your arms and legs so you can run or fight. And it draws blood away from the parts of the body you’re not going to need if someone is chasing you e.g. parts of the brain responsible for logic, reasoning, the ability to get perspective on a situation, long term planning etc.
That’s why you feel overwhelmed, unable to think clearly and fully of swirly anxiety (caused by adrenaline and cortisol in your body).
And in that state, when it comes to taking action on tasks, you… don’t. And procrastination kicks in.
And you’ll stay like that until you switch off the survival response and your parasympathetic nervous system comes back online.
Procrastination doesn’t mean you’re lazy
It means you’re not listening to your nervous system. Because if you start doing that then you’ll be able to give yourself what you need in those moments and the procrastination will stop.
These are the kinds of tools I give my clients – practical ways to build more resilience by understanding your body and mind and working with them instead of trying to force yourself to be different. It’s way more effective, so much simpler and will produce a much happier you.
