There is a strong link between confidence and your nervous system that a lot of us simply aren’t aware of. We have a tendency to view confidence as something that comes from the mind. But the Latin root of confidence is confidere – which means ‘to trust completely.’ This isn’t just about the thoughts you have. It’s about how much you trust yourself completely. And that includes how safe you feel in your body.
Nervous system = mind-body connection
I’m no expert on the nervous system but I know how it relates to resilience. And everything connected to resilience, such as confidence. When the nervous system is activated – in fight/flight/freeze – it’s not possible to feel confident. Instead, we tend to veer off into self-doubt and our inner critic rises up alongside habitual anxiety narratives. So, if you want to be able to tap into feelings of confidence, it’s going to be really important to know how to soothe your nervous system. To bring yourself out of fight/flight/freeze.
You can’t think your way to confidence
Because we are so obsessed with dominance of the mind we often think that our thoughts can solve everything. But the reality is that you can’t think your way out of a situation you’ve thought your way into. And you can’t fake confident thoughts. You can think them but you won’t believe them if they don’t feel credible (there’s no ‘make it,’ it’s just ‘fake it’). And if you’re in a state of fight/flight/freeze they won’t feel credible. They will feel fake. That’s why regulating your nervous system comes before confidence. And also why it’s such an amazing tool for feeling more confident that so many people overlook.
Nervous system tips for building confidence
- Find your favourite breathing technique. Our breath is a powerful way to regulate the nervous system. Any outbreath that is longer than your inbreath will do this.
- Use the vagus nerve via the ear. The vagus nerve is like a switch that turns on your soothing and nurturing parasympathetic response. You can activate it through the ears, gently pulling on the ear lobes or using techniques like auricular ear release.
- Burn calming essential oils. Scent is one of the fastest ways to switch on your parasympathetic response so don’t overlook it.
- Physical comfort. I use the simplest of self-soothing tools to start clients on this journey – put your hand over your heart. Close your eyes. Feel the connection. This gesture is very comforting and also lights up the part of the brain that is triggered when someone hugs us. As a result we get a calming release of oxytocin.
There are so many ways to feel more confident but a regulated nervous system is fundamental. Nothing else will work for long without this. If you’re ready to start building your confidence today, book a free intro call and let’s chat.
