After a number of years of helping people overcome their toughest challenges, it seems to me that one of the biggest problems many of us have is getting the wrong end of the stick. And then running with it.
We absorb information from the world around us all the time (especially when young) and then it gets converted into things we take to be truth or ‘just the way it is.’ For example, having a relative who used to say something like “a little bit of arrogance is what everyone needs to start feeling confident.” Or a teacher who always used to call the loudest kid in the room, “such a confident child.” That kind of thing can build up a false impression that ends up leading us down all sorts of wrong paths, often to disappointments and wasted effort. We absorb that info as truth – and then wonder why it doesn’t seem to make sense for our lives.
Confidence vs Arrogance
Confidence is a prime example of this. It’s something we tend to think you have (or not) – like it’s bestowed from heaven or genetically wired in – when actually it’s a daily practice of confidence habits. And confidence and arrogance aren’t even on the same spectrum.
Confidence = self-trust.
Arrogance = insecurity.
Arrogance isn’t an excess of confidence, it’s a total lack of it. Maybe that surprises you. I do get a few frowns when I first mention this. I’m going to Latin you now.
The Latin root of confidence is ‘confidere’ – which means “to fully trust.”
The Latin root of arrogance is ‘arrogare’ – which means “to claim.”
One is an inner calm and self-reliance. One is an outward projection to cover something up. Very, very different.
Confidence Building – 2 ways
I work a lot with clients looking to build confidence. A lot. Other than the inner critic it’s one of the main reasons people come for resilience coaching. Because resilience and confidence fuel each other in a beautiful way. And both are built through (very similar) habits.
One of the great joys of being a coach is arming people with good information, a deepunderstanding (and trust) of themselves and options for change that actually work. That can come through perspective shifts (like what confidence actually is) and through practical experiences – such as the powerful questioning and enquiry that form the basis of coaching.
Life definitely does feel different when you feel more confident. Especially if you understand how to sustain this feeling for yourself. And I have SO many tools to help you to this, whether it relates to professional or personal life.
Book a free intro call with me to see how we can completely shift your experience of confidence through 1:1 coaching, starting in Jan or Feb.
Or check out my Change Your Mindset programme, which is 6 weeks of resilience coaching with a lot of attention on confidence building (as well as overcoming negativity and dealing with limits like the inner critic, procrastination and a lack of vision). There’s more info below.
I don’t believe that anyone has to miss out on the experience of moving confidently through life. All you really need to know is how to make that happen – and there, I’ve got you 🙂
