When it comes to mindset change, there are 3 main ways that you can do this:
- Changing your processes i.e.. the habits you have
- Changing your goals i.e. the outcomes you’re aiming for
- Changing your identity i.e. who you believe yourself to be
By far the most effective of these is to change your identity.
You’ve probably seen all the Insta-memes about how long it takes to form a new habit that will enable you to reach new goals. Most of these stats aren’t actually true – there is no single figure you can rely on when it comes to establishing yourself in healthier habits. That’s actually good as much as it is bad. Although there is no clarity in terms of how long it will take, it could be faster than you think. But it depends on how you approach this. If you start with your identity then the shift could be much quicker than you think.
What does “identity” mean in identity-based change
Essentially, how you see yourself. This isn’t about how you identify. That’s a whole other conversation. What we’re talking about here is the ‘character’ you’ve created for yourself. The stories you tell yourself on repeat about who you are and what you’re capable of.
What’s tricky about the identity in identity-based change is that many of us don’t even realise what we are telling ourselves. If you’re someone who often says “that’s just who I am” then it might be worth looking at what you’re actually doing by telling others (and yourself) this – how do you describe yourself? What identity have you created? Where are you telling yourself that there are things you can’t change that actually you could? It’s especially important if it relates to things like confidence, motivation, laziness etc – all of these are often called personality traits when in actual fact they are the result of habitual behaviours – and the identity that drives them. What you do every day will determine how confident you are, for example. And it’s what your identity says about your confidence that will most likely control what you do every day. For example:
You have over the years established an identity of being someone who isn’t confident, doesn’t speak up in groups and dreads social occasions.
Your habits are likely to include avoiding groups and social occasions, feeling lots of anxiety symptoms if you have to be part of one and telling people you’re just not the kind of person who is confident in groups.
If you changed this idea you have about yourself to someone who feels neutral about social events – sometimes enjoys them, sometimes not – but who will show up and be themselves and enjoy doing that – then the habits you create on the back of that will also be different. You’re less likely to avoid social events – and the less you avoid them the less anxiety you’ll feel about them (because doing the things that make us anxious expands our comfort zone). So, you’ll naturally move from someone who doesn’t see themselves as socially confident to someone who does.
What can you do when it comes to identity-based change?
Here are a few tips for getting into identity-based change:
- Get really clear on how you see yourself. What stories do you tell yourself about who you are and what you’re capable of – what kind of identity have you created?
- Decide who you actually want to be. It really is as simple as that. If you’re not happy with the identity that you’ve created for yourself, if you know that you’re hiding part of who you are – or your identity is based on avoiding hurt, embarrassment etc – then be honest about that. Write some new stories for your identity based on who you do want to be.
- Start showing yourself that you are your new identity now. Prove this every day with small wins. This is where the intentional action comes in to make that change happen.
Here are a few examples:
Identity you want: someone who joins in.
Small win: join a group and show up every week no matter how you feel.
Identity you want: someone who is active.
Small win: get out and walk for 30 mins a day without fail. Take the stairs. Get an activity monitor. Take up a new sport and do it once a week.
Identity you want: someone who cares.
Small win: notice how you talk to other people and change the way you show up in conversation. Ask them how they are feeling. Listen more than you talk. Do one small act of kindness every day.
Identity-based change is incredibly powerful and – although not easy – not complex to do. All you need to do to start is clearly state the identity that you want for yourself. And then begin reinforcing this with the things you say and do every day until you believe it.
Identity-based change is something we explore a lot in coaching – book an intro call if you’d like to find out more.