Stop trying to cope.
Stop worrying that you’re not coping.
Stop telling yourself stories about what the “I’m not coping” means.
Just stop. Take a breath. Acknowledge your feelings. Disrupt the cycle of rumination and give yourself the chance to de-escalate. Self-soothe your body (tips in the caption).
This will stop you spiralling.
It will give you the chance to see if you’re actually not coping. Or just getting caught up in fear or perfectionism.
And it will give you enough calm in your body and mind to get clarity on what you need to do next.
Yes I know your mind is probably telling you to just push through, keep going, if you stop you’re weak etc. But, if we’re being honest, how has that worked out for you so far?
This is what works for the moments when you’re not coping
There is nothing that works better for the hard moments in life than giving your mind and body the attention it needs.
If your nervous system starts getting activated (which begins when you feel annoyed about something or mildly anxious) your body begins going into survival mode. At that moment you start to lose access to the parts of the brain you need for problem solving. And also for getting perspective on a situation and being rational – because your body is sending all its resources to the parts you might need to survive (run and fight).
That’s why when you’re stressed you can’t think clearly and everything feels mentally and physically harder.
So, stop and try a few of these self-soothing techniques. Do that and you will find that your ability to cope magically returns as your nervous system calms down. It’s a far more effective approach than pushing and pushing against whatever you’re feeling until everything explodes.
Simple ways to change “I’m not coping”
Breathwork. Something as simple as Box Breathing will signal to your nervous system that you’re safe (4 counts in, 4 hold, 4 out, 4 hold).
Stimulate the vagus nerve using auricular ear release (google it).
Use scent – one of the fastest ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.
Slow down what you’re doing. If you don’t have time to stop and do these things then simply slowing down your movements and breathing will help.
Want more tips? Drop me a DM.
