You’ve probably been told: “Be mentally strong.” But mental strength alone won’t protect you from stress, burnout, or overwhelm. In fact, I often see situations where someone has been told to be mentally strong and this is actually what has left them burned out and overwhelmed.
Resilience is about mental flexibility
The reality is that Resilience is built on mental flexibility and nervous system regulation, not sheer willpower or brute force. Without either of these components you’re completely ignoring an essential part of the input to what makes us resilient people. And when we do that it’s not just about feeling less able to cope. It has a very wide ranging impact on everything, from how able we are to solve problems to the way we connect with people we love. Think about it – if you’re gritting your teeth to get through something hard, how able are you to show up authentically and compassionately for others? Not very.
Mental strength isn’t what creates high performance either
High performers often push through symptoms of fatigue, anxiety, or tension – thinking grit will solve it. It doesn’t. And these are the people who burn out first (Hi, that’s me). In this context, “mental strength” is like a bulldozer shoving everything to an end point and then running into – and repeatedly ramming – wall. Pushing through, ignoring everything except that end target and ending up in a crumpled heap at the finish line. Mental flexibility, on the other hand, – real resilience – allows you to make intentional choices, respond instead of react and get to the end of a situation with your nervous system (and sanity) in tact.
How does resilience coaching contribute to mental flexibility?
It’s the core of what we’re doing – and we approach it from many different angles. These include learning nervous system regulation and focusing on building the kind of authenticity that will carry you through most difficult situations without self-doubt. You’ll be able to:
- Recognise when your nervous system is dysregulated – and actually do something about it with really simple tools that are short, sweet and powerful.
- Respond instead of react. Because you’ll have the ability to be intentional instead of overwhelmed.
- Build habits that support sustainable thriving so that your foundation is already flexible and strong when the tough times hit.
I know that this might go against a lot of what you’ve been told about resilience – and what others in the media have said. But how is that working for you so far? Most of us know deep down that it’s not working. We aren’t thriving. There is a whole other level of life above this struggle and anxiety that we just can’t seem to access for some reason. Well, this is the reason – striving for mental strength instead of building mental flexibility.
Stop pushing through. Start thriving. You know that it’s time.
📩 Download my free 5 Resilience Coaching Questions guide or schedule a free intro call and let’s chat about your challenges.
