You thought you had control – but all you ever had was anxiety..
I remember hearing this for the first time and just thinking “what the hell.”
It didn’t just resonate, it was like being kicked by a horse.
Some time before, I’d already begun wondering why all the steps I took to feel more “in control” in my life never worked. Trying to make events happen how I wanted them to, get people to behave in the way I needed them to, trying to stop certain things from happening and organise situations so that I didn’t feel things I didn’t want to feel.
All that time, every action I’d taken to try and be more “in control” was just me listening to my anxiety. And it was always the same message behind it all “you can’t handle it.”
The problem with this is that “control” is exhausting. It inevitably comes with overthinking, ctastrophising and rumination and you need to be hypervigilant to notice if anything might disrupt your control. Which is a big ask in a world full of humans with free will and totally random events.
The solution to anxiety is self-trust
This is the basis of confidence in yourself and your ability to handle life. If we’re honest with ourselves, what we’re trying to achieve with control is usually peace and calm. But that’s the opposite of what you’ll get when you take the path of control – precisely because all that’s driving you is anxiety.
There is an easier way. A simpler approach. One that is not exhausting and which doesn’t constantly make you feel full of dread. It is one of the key elements of Finding Freedom – starting 4th November. 4 weeks of life changing growth with a whole week dedicated to overcoming fear and the need for control that it creates.
